I was crushed and cringed as he said this through bouts of wicked laughter. He just did exactly what I told him he was guilty of, plucking off my petals. People express themselves through various mediums, but I feel most comfortable expressing myself through picture words. I viewed myself a s flower, a stargazer lily in fact. And whenever he’d put me down like he just did, I felt like he was plucking off my petals, the things that were important to me and made me who I am. You see, you can take the world’s most beautiful flower and make it unrecognizable by plucking off the petals. You leave a naked stem and traces of what once was.
If you look closely at the header of my blog you will see a stargazer lily tucked neatly in the bottom right hand corner with a butterfly perched on top of it. I asked my web designer to include a stargazer lily because it’s my favorite flower. I remember the first time I saw one on a vendor’s cart in downtown Philly. It was standing proud, tall and elegant with these huge, lovely white petals accented with fuschia stripes and purple polka dots. The stargazer seemed to be saying boldly to the world: “I’m here. I’m beautiful. I love life. Deal with it.” I could smell its scent from a few feet away. I bought a few of them that day to place on my desk at work. I had no idea that God would use those flowers to teach me about myself.
I followed the vendor’s instructions, clipping the ends of the stems and placing the flowers in fresh water adding the flower food as specified. When I bought the flowers some of them were already opened, but a few bulbs were still closed. When I came back the next day to work I noticed a few things about my flowers that God brought to my attention. The first thing I noticed was that all the flowers were leaning in the direction of the light source, as if they knew instinctively where the light was coming from. I also noticed that one of the closed bulbs had opened like magic. I came back the next day and the same thing happened. The last bulb had finally opened and it was as lovely as all the others. I asked God why it took that one so long to open and He reminded me that He makes everything beautiful in its time–very much like me,a self proclaimed late bloomer. I may not get something on the first few tries, but I’ll master it soon enough.
I felt God speaking to me through these flowers in his still small voice. He let me know that like this flower, I was one of his beautiful creations, a designer’s original in fact. Just like the stargazer lily’s distinguishing petals with the purple polka dots, God let me know that my character traits made me special and peculiar. They identified me. My warm personality, my bright smile, my concern for others, my vivid imagination, my love of literature and writing were all individual petals on my flower. Although my ex-boyfriend laughed at me when I tried to explain this to him, this experience with the flowers assured me that I wasn’t being silly when I said he was plucking off my petals.
Many times, we as women get into relationships with people who delight in tearing us down, plucking our petals. They take our kindness for weakness trying to make us change who we are and become bitter. When a friend complains about being used and how she wants to stop helping people, I tell her not to change because that’s who she is and what makes her special. I also assure her that her concern for others is genuine and beautiful. Genuine concern for others is a beautiful trait to have. I only encourage my friends to be more wiser in who they help and how they help them. I’ve also talked to women who deal with people who try to tear down their self confidence by making them think that they are conceited because they take pride in getting good grades or having great credit. It’s kind of like the kids in junior high teasing the smart kid for doing her homework. My beautiful sisters, those characteristics about you that YOU love the most are your petals that distinguish you from anyone else in the world! There’s nobody else in the wolrd like you. Think about that for a minute. You can’t let people pluck those beautiful petals of yours.
The last lesson that God taught me with the stargazer lilies was that they gravitate and take on the nature of its light source. How many times have you been in an environment and noticed your personality being influenced by it? You have to be careful what you allow to infiltrate your mind. You also have to be careful what you feed your spirit. You need to be around positive light sources like positive people who will encourage you to be the best you can be instead of dark negative sources that will stifle your growth.
I want you to take the time out to think of a flower that reminds you of yourself and why. In many ways, when I look at stargazer lillies, they remind me of how I feel about myself on the inside. I may not be beautiful according to society’s standards, I may be a little overweight, I may even be too short, but I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world on the inside. It took me a while to build up my self esteem and image, but I don’t apologize for it. I’m a great person to know. Have you ever broke bread with me? Have you ever shared a laugh with me, the kind that makes your sides ache the next morning? Maybe you’re a thorny rose that perservered and pushed through the concrete jungle in spite of all the obstacles that were in your way. Maybe you’re a cactus that is determined to survive even in the harshest of conditions. Maybe you’re a soothing aloe plant that brings comfort to others. Maybe you’re a Gerber Daisy that is just so darned cute! Once you settled on a flower, I encourage you to buy yourself some of those flowers. Don’t wait on someone else to buy them for you. Over the next few days, she what lessons they teach you about yourself. You’ll be surprised what they tell you.
P.S.- Remember everything has beauty including YOU. It just takes a true D.I.V.A to see it!zxx
© 2013, Shalena D.I.V.A. – Author| Speaker| Life And Business Coach. All rights reserved.