Babies Having Babies by Mikenda Early
Do you love me? If you love me, then prove it. Show me how much. This scenario happens on a day to day basis with our young girls. They are being asked to prove something that they barely know about, love. They are so busy trying to prove to these guys that they love them that they find themselves tricked into giving up the very essence of themselves—the very thing we talked to them about. As a parent, you know that conversation we have had with them a thousand times. “Don’t have sex before you’re married. Don’t put yourself in a situation where that could happen. If you think you’re ready please let me know. You can talk to me about anything so if a guy is asking you tell me.” But from experience, we know the moment the guy we think we love tells us that he loves us, all that goes out the window. All you start to think about is what he wants and not what your parents have taught you. That’s when the peer pressure comes in: “Girl, if you don’t have sex with him someone else will.” Then you buy into that hook, line and sinker. He promises you the world. He says he will use a condom, which he does at first. Then he states that if something happens and you get pregnant he will help you take care of the baby and you all can be like a real family. That’s how the seed is planted, you throw caution to the wind, and you start engaging in unprotected sex full aware of the risk, but not really caring because he said he would help you take care of the baby if you got pregnant.
While these young girls are giving up their essence, we as parents think they are listening and paying attention to what we have taught them. Then the very thing we warned them about happens, they become pregnant. Now this young lady finds herself trying to figure how to tell her parents that number one she’s pregnant; number two the boy she was sleeping with says the baby isn’t his—which happens all the time—and number three Mr. I’ll always be there for you has moved on to his next victim—and I say victim because that is what it is. A lot of our teen girls fall prey to this situation for more than one reason; they have low self esteem, they feel something is missing in their lives that they feel a baby will fill, or they just feel like if they give him everything he is asking for he will love them and never leave. Then they find themselves stuck with a baby they thought they wanted, but have no idea how to raise because they are still babies themselves and they are going through pregnancy changes as well as hormonal changes. Their bodies start changing from a child to a woman and they really don’t have a clue what is going on. Being a teen mother is something I can relate to. Being a teenage mother myself, I know how a young girl can get caught up in this epidemic that seems to be taking over our country. The hardships of being a teen mother are you missing out on so much, your school work taking a back seat because you have to focus on your baby, and no more hanging out with friends because the last thing they want to do is hang out with a crying infant. And these are the friends who encouraged you to have sex with him or someone else would. You become angry because while you’re taking care of the baby, the father is out there still being a kid and having fun. Your entire household has to change because of your decision. I used to find myself asking how did I allow myself to get caught in all the hype of having sex with a guy I knew deep down was playing me. I also asked myself was I missing something. Prior to getting pregnant, my household changed drastically and I thought I was no longer important so I allowed myself to believe that if I gave this older guy what he wanted then that void would be fulfilled. The void was fulfilled, but it was replaced with another one. You see I went from childhood to motherhood all in a split second, trying to struggle with different kind of emotions that I couldn’t understand. While you’re becoming depressed and withdrawn, all these emotions are being transferred to the baby you are caring. Teen pregnancy is the leading cause in low birth weights, pre-term labor, and gestational diabetes. You have to learn to think of someone else other than yourself.
If you are a mother reading this article I want you to take the time out to have a real talk with your daughters. Come to them not as mother, but as a listener. Ask them questions about what is going on in their lives. I wish I could say that there are certain things to look out for, but the truth is that it is not. I hid my sexual activity well until I couldn’t any longer. The key is just being open and honest with your daughters. As hard as it may be for you to believe this fact, 2/3 of teens are getting pregnant every day. So we must educate our daughters on all of the risks. I was so wrapped up in trying to prove my love and having unprotected sex with my boyfriend that it is only by the grace of God I didn’t contract any sexual transmitted diseases. If you are a teen girl reading this article, please outweigh the risk before you engage in unprotected sex because you could end up with more than just a baby. One quick decision will alter your life forever. Please go to www.pregnantteenhelp.org, www.stayteen.org, or www.4parents.gov. Educate yourselves and your daughters so you are not another statistic.
© 2010 – 2011, Shalena D.I.V.A.- Unleash the D.I.V.A. Within. All rights reserved.
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