My alarm goes off and I dread getting up because I still can feel the pain between my legs. The bruises are visible on my thighs. I’m still in complete shock of how my husband of eighteen years violated me. I was standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes when Eric came in from work. He kissed me on the lips and caressed my face and began pulling me into our bedroom. Dealing with a terrible headache all day I really didn’t feel like making love. All I wanted to do was finish cleaning up the kitchen, take my nightly medicine and go to bed. Unfortunately my husband had other plans. After numerous attempts to “get me in the mood” he became angry because I kept telling him No!! He grabbed me by the arm and threw me on the bed, and as I attempted to get up off the bed he pinned me down . While holding my arms over my head with one hand and used his free hand to rip my skirt and panties off me in one smooth motion. He roughly prided my legs apart using his knees and forced himself into me pounding as if I was a complete stranger.
“Please stop!” I screamed as tears streamed down my face.
“Shut the hell up!” he yelled thrusting himself inside me. “You’re my wife. You supposed to have sex with me. It’s your job to keep me satisfied whenever I want it.”
This torturous act went on for what seemed like hours. Once he finally finished he got up as if it was the best love making of my life. Slappping me on my bruised legs saying ” Thanks babe I needed that.” When he finally left the room I rolled over and went to the bathroom on shaky legs to access the damage.
It felt as if my insides had been ripped to pieces, his handprints where branded on my inner thighs. I buried my head in my hands and cried asking God “Why”? After cleaning myself up I walked back to the kitchen and finished washing the dishes. Eric was sitting on the couch watching t.v like nothing ever happened. I walked around my once happy house in complete shock and went and prepared myself for bed. I heard Eric leave the house and I buried myself under the covers and prayed for mercy. The next morning I called my best friend and told her what happened and she informed me I had been raped. We went back and forth for awhile until I understood that I had definitely been raped by my husband. I really didn’t believe at first that your husband could actually rape you, but it happens more often than you would realize. The relationship between my husband and I was never the same again after that night. I was continuously on edge not sure if he would attack me again. Over the course of six months my weight dropped dramatically because I stand in constant fear. My best friend convinced me that I needed to go to counseling, which I did unwillingly at first but eventually I realized I needed it. I divorced Eric three months later and now I am enjoying life and helping others who went through similar experiences. Statistics show that 47% of the reported rape cases are from spousal rape, to find out more information or to see if you to are a victim of spousal rape please go to www.ncdnr.org and please seek help immediately.
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